Disaster, figuratively and literally

This week I began attending an intensive two-week course at the university.  Tomorrow we devote the entire class session (4 1/2 hours) to "Gender and Sexuality" but that's a topic I prefer to neglect on this blog.

Two days ago, on the first day of class, I made the mistake of glancing at my phone when there was still an hour left in the class.  I should have followed the "no cell phone use" rule to protect myself, because I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the class after I read the following:

"There may be a problem with your recital.  It may be impossible for us to use [the location] for a while...."

Bad timing.

Two and half years ago, the university sent a team of workers in to assess repairs on the facility.  It was clear that the ceiling was starting to deteriorate.  University gods had determined that "condensation" was the problem, and they installed a terribly noisy device in a closet in the basement that would address the issue.  This thing sounded like an air compressor, which is particularly distressing to females who tend to notice annoying sounds more than men.

The ceiling issues persisted, and the building started to smell of mold and mildew.  Youngest Son would greet me at home after a practice session and declare, "You smell like [name of building]."  Yep.  I sure did.

Meanwhile, ceiling plaster started appearing on the benches and floor in the building.  Recently, some holes developed in the ceiling which caused Chinese Water Torture during a heavy rain.  I told Oldest Daughter a few weeks ago, "The ceiling is going to start falling in chunks."

And it did.

During a wedding.

All of us are now locked out of the building.  A rescue operation for music and shoes is planned.

My recital is in limbo, a HUGE issue because I was registered for the recital during Fall, and Organ Teacher told me, "Don't drop the class, I'll just give you an Incomplete!"  "Incompletes" must be given a grade during the first few weeks of the next quarter or they turn to "F." I don't have a location for the recital, and the university gods don't want to let me in the building for any length of time, including one hour for a recital.

Stay tuned.

Apologies

on my leave of absence. The "overhaul" of the Liturgy which took place on Sunday has consumed an inordinate amount of my time here.

May I note, all ye pedagogically-minded people of the world, that everything came and went as any other normal Sunday Mass. The months of preparation, not to mention, thousands of dollars, wasted on the "educational" aspect of this endeavor, in my humble opinion, were excessive to say the least. Honestly, Sunday afternoon, after all was said and done, I could not help but think, "that's it?" THAT'S IT? HOURS of my time (and BUDGET) blown on some four new sentences? As an aside, if you wonder if graduate music study is for you (Mary), please note: you may work hard for a degree naively assuming you will use it! Instead, plan on putting your years of theory and performance to use making bulletin boards, putting 1000s of cards in the pews each week, making trivial purchase orders, and typing up "announcements."

As for being underwhelmed with the outcome this weekend, I suppose it helps that we have been learning the new *gag* musical setting (dictated to us by the diocese) since September. (A note regarding the aforementioned musical setting: my theory is that this "Mass," chock-full of syncopation, parallel octaves in the left hand, and VII --> I cadences, was chosen by the diocese's Cathedral organist - who has a terminal degree in "jazz organ." That exists? Until now, I thought that was just a facebook major.)

Relief...

Just found out that I'm receiving an "A" in both of my "hard" classes--French and 16th Century Counterpoint.  Blessed relief!

Mary must graduate this June, or risk going insane.  To that end, I'm fulfilling a requirement by taking a class that meets four hours a day for two weeks, starting on Monday.  Yee ha! No rest for the weary. But then it will be done.

During Winter, I'm forced to take another class to fulfill a requirement -- Communication Science 101.  I'm nearly half a century old; do I really need it? Perhaps the department gods will waive the requirement and give me credit for life experience.

Mary's big announcement (I have a job!)

Although I've not yet signed the paperwork, I've been offered and have accepted an organist position in a non-Catholic church one hour from my home.  This is a liturgical parish with a tradition of good music, and many musically knowledgeable parishioners.  They are very appreciative of what I have to offer them, and I know this will be a good fit.  Maybe after several years of experience, I'll be able to convince The Catholics that I'm worth having around.  Or maybe I'll work for this church for many years.

(I always thought that the Catholic church was the sole user of the term 'parish' and 'parishioners', but they use these terms to describe themselves.)

Mass review from Historic Church #2

Saturday night came and went without Older Daughter and I knowing where we would attend Mass.  The rest of the family was out of town, and I wasn't feeling well enough to travel a great distance.  I decided that we would attend Mass at a local parish (not the one where I worked) as an extreme penance, and also so that Daughter could arrive on time to the Religious Education classes where she serves as an aide.

Ultimately, the anticipated stress of this experience was too much for these old bones, so I quickly looked up the Mass time for an out-of-town church and realized we could make it if we left right now.

We arrived at the beautiful historic church ("historic" in this case means "unwreckovated" since it's on the National Register of Historic Places), located in a cave tour region, as the opening hymn was being sung.  "Gather Us In" accompanied by a strumming guitar pierced my ears as we were ushered to a pew.

"What have I done?" I wondered to myself, but swore to not lose heart.  When we'd attended this church earlier in the year, the music stunk, but the priest was a pretty awesome guy.

The rest of the music was nearly as bad as the opening "hymn." The closing song was full of syncopations, so I sung that puppy with EVERY written syncopation.  *evil grin*

The priest delivered the homily in an almost Ben Stein-esque tone, but it was one of the best sermons I've heard in my life. He discussed the results of a poll suggesting that many Catholics don't believe in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist.  He called this "TERRIFYING" and reminded parents that they MUST teach their children about the realities of our faith.  He also touched on the Penn State child rape scandal without mentioning it by name -- very delicately done, no one was scandalized, but his meaning was clear to anyone watching/listening/reading the news.  He was very careful with his word choices, and even brought up fine theological points that would be left to a footnote in a text, all so that his meaning was exactly clear to everyone.

As I listened to him, I thought two things: 1) why am I not recording this, and 2) can he be our new bishop?

We spoke after Mass, and he told me that the pipe organ is played every week, but the musicians irregularly rotate between Masses.

The rest of the Mass was unremarkable-- no bells, no incense, people were respectful and decently dressed-- but the amazing priest made this church a great option for Mass attendance.

University drama continues

In my last post I gave you a humorous (to me) snippet of conversation. I didn't mention that the choir in which I sing is the "elite" university choir; still, there are challenges inherent in bring together a new group of people, including several freshman unaccustomed to the rigors of university academics, and giving a good cohesive performance.  

On the first day of rehearsal, the sopranos were asked to sing a particular passage. They were so tentative and mousy that I was truly worried about the ensemble.  The choral conductor simply said, "I expect better from you."

Fast forward to the concert.  The performance was excellent.  I was so proud (and crushed, because I couldn't sing) to be a part of that ensemble.  In fact, it was the best Fall concert I'd ever heard.  And the sopranos were on top of their game.

All was not rosy, however.

Last year, the opera director was let go, and there was word that the department would re-focus itself to include music theater.  Some people, our own music history teacher included, insist that music theater IS opera.  There is some merit to that argument, but to the common layperson, they are not the same thing.  "Serious" opera is generally based on historical or mythological themes, and "comic" or "light" opera is based on everyday, common themes.  Even Mozart wrote comic opera, but there is great artistic training and skill required to sing his works. Music theater would be included in the "light" opera category.

The new opera director included in the choral concert one number meant as an advertisement for the end-of-session opera production.  The piece was from music theater, and featured two performers.  One was from the music school, and the other was from the theater department, reflecting the new collaboration taking place.

The "advertisement" probably had the opposite effect, as there were at least 50% fewer in attendance at the opera production than there were last year.  I've always been in awe of our opera productions at the university, and could with confidence say, "I could never do that."  I simply have not the talent or skill to sing the way these students do.  (I should mention, too, that we have older students with years of experience, and it shows.)  But this time, I was embarrassed that people had actually paid money for this performance.  Again, the problem was NOT with our music students.  One shouldn't attend a show and think, "I could do better."

How is it possible that our music students were able to act better than the theater students?  One of my teachers said in passing during class one day, "What is the difference between a bachelor's degree music student and a musician with a Ph.D.?  It's the ear."  I'm struck by the wisdom of this statement.  Music students ears develop a remarkable degree during their training, and they are able to hear things unnoticed by most people.  It is my opinion that the music students were able to hear and use the cadences of the voice and the natural pauses between phrases to achieve maximum effect upon the listener.  Perhaps I'm spoiled by my high school drama teacher (R.I.P.) who was a graduate of Yale drama school, but I expected so much more from this university-level collaborative effort.

Oh, and the Spring opera production? The Threepenny Opera. Wikipedia describes it as "a Marxist critique of the capitalist world."  Just. Great.

Just one more thing--the professor that was given the "Outstanding Teacher" award last spring, and who has amazing versatile skills regarding language diction, collaborative piano, and vocal coaching?  He was let go, too.

Overheard at Choral Concert

Thanks to a lovely case of bronchitis, I couldn't sing in the quarterly concert.  *SAD FACE*

However, it does mean that I had the privilege of overhearing the following conversation between two college girls:

Girl 1: (looks at program) Oh - J.S. Bach.
Girl 2:  Is that somebody?
Girl 1: Yeah, he like, did this stuff.
Girl 2: Oh.  I thought you meant he was going to be here.

Speaking of wire cutters...

I am seriously considering mutilating the "V-drums" in the Church. For multiple reasons (see below). My only reservation is that the loud-mouthed busybodies who put them there will most likely lobby for their return...and that money will come out of MY music budget. 

This empty can was found laying on the floor of the Church, behind the "V-drums" used at the "youth" and "folk" Masses. Mind you, this is NOT the first time I have found food-related trash back there.

In a nutshell, this is why I hate strongly dislike:

1. Praise and worship music at Mass

2. "Youth"

2. V-Drums

3. Hippes who play aforementioned V-drums.

Really, people? Not only were they drinking DURING Mass, they probably skipped forward to "eat the bread" right after. I mean, what good is a beverage without a little appetizer? And vice versa! (yes, I intend for you to read between the lines--this is also a jab at having to receive both species)

Sorry for my blatant sin of extreme judgement, but I am pretty livid. Maybe because I have painstakingly taken upon myself the entrusted role of "liturgist" and actually take interest in keeping the Church clean, tidy and free of DEBRIS - also: lazy people.

2nd Mass Review from Big Church #1

Not being content to let well enough alone, I lassoed the family into returning to the Big Church for Mass.  Same organist, but this time all the selections were screwy (that's my code word for "stupid"); any church song that has the words "my deepest self" is officially stupid.  I believe that same song also has the line, "I am Your song."  Barf. That's what I get for being excited last week.  Anyway, the cantor had good pitch at least, even if she used motions normally reserved for guiding aircraft to the proper gate.  And the priest had a good homily.  He used not only the word "sin", but also the term "Holy Day of Obligation."  I was impressed.  Here at Local Church, the term is shortened to "Holy Day", and the obligation isn't usually discussed.  I didn't mention last time (because we were too close to the front and don't have eyes in the back of our heads) that this is a hold-hands-during-the-Our-Father and raise-'em-up-high-for-the-Lesser-Doxology parish.  At least no one tried to grab our hands, and they didn't join hands across the center aisle. Overall, though, this is still a good and decent parish for regular attendance.  I do wish it was closer.

Side note:  If you hear someone behind you coughing and hacking through Mass, do you extend your hand to them during the Sign of Peace?  I was the hacking one, and the lady in front of me unabashedly offered her hand.  Now, I had coughed into my coat sleeve every time, but she didn't know that.  Still...hygiene, people!

The fam intends to visit more area churches, so stay tuned.  Perhaps I'll record the whole Mass and then tear everything apart bit by bit.  *kidding*

Oh yes -- some of us attended the All Saint's Vigil Mass at the church where I formerly played.  The music director apparently couldn't be bothered to prepare the psalm with a cantor, so we spoke it. There was a choir, however.  There were five EMHC's for a congregation of about 60 people.  I was slightly upset and a little amused at the absurdity of it, but my nerves were calmed and soothed by the tinkling piano lounge music emanating from the electronic keyboard.  Hearing the keyboard always makes me think of wire-cutters.  Not sure why.  In my past engineering life, I always carried a mini-screwdriver (the tool, not the drink) with me "just in case," because you never know when you'll need one! Thinking about it, this could also apply to the drink. Anyway, I thought about carrying wire-cutters, but that may be a near occasion of sin. (Or would it actually be a sin?  Hmmm.)

Until next time mes amis, au revoir.