Being the new kid on the block: one antidote to the spread of Political Correctness.

A former band director once told me, "you can not be blamed for what you simply forget to remember." He was of course, speaking about an ongoing battle between himself and the football coach, in which he would weekly "forget" the band was not supposed to march in the front gate of the stadium.

 I have since adopted a similar approach. The result: I am now perceived to be a dim-witted, mindless fool.

Of course, the joke is on them. There are few times in our adult life when we are actually able to plead ignorance. Speeding on the highway is unfortunately not one of them, but starting a new job IS. Therefore, I have strategically capitalized on this "newbie" status time and time again in order to further the aims of truth, and for this, I am more than willing to suffer the consequence of being dubbed "parish ignoramus."

One example of such behavior: I have been told countless (probably twice a week since the onset of employment) times that "we" at "Suburban Catholic Parish A" replace all masculine pronouns (i.e. His, Him) with the more gender-neutral, ambiguous term "God." To be fair, this edict has not come from the clergy, but from several women who wish they were. (I refer to them as the "old guard.") Each Sunday Mass, I must endure the same ritual. Upon hearing me sing "His glory," one of the old-guard fem-bots gives me a polite (or not-so-polite) tap on the shoulder and reminds me through pursed lips about saying "God's" instead. Each time, I give them a big, warm smile, and tell them, "I'm sorry. I'm still getting used to everything, I'll try to remember next time." [Of course, then my guilty Catholic conscience gets the best of me about lying in church. But then again, the same conscience also cynically notes that the Tabernacle is not technically even in the church, and besides, half-truths for the sake of truth are technically not lying! After all, I am sorry [that they live under this guise!], and I am still getting used to everything! And I will try [albeit not very hard] to remember next time, but trying is not the same as promising!]

Anyway, until I receive a thundering proclamation from the priest, who signs my checks, I will continue this little game. Is this behavior disagreeable? Perhaps. Will I create enemies? Undoubtedly.

Therefore, "draw your strength from the Lord and from his mighty power. Put on the armor of God so that you be able to stand firm against the tactics of the devil. For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness."
- Letter to the Ephesians, 6:10-12